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No respect

Friday, May 16, 2008

* Apparently, horrible poll numbers and multiple FBI investigations detract from a governor’s sexiness

No love for the gov? Guess whose name did not show up on Playboy’s sexiest governors poll? Tremendously tressed Gov. Blagojevich did not make the list.

To wit: California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger topped the charts and was followed by former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush and Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm.

The kicker: Even former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer made it. He came in at No. 18.

* I understand why Spitzer made the list because it was put together by “high-priced Los Angeles call girls.” They know a rich pigeon when they see him. Ahnold is a former movie star, so I get his ranking, even if he has really let himself go since being elected…

My eyes! They burn!!!

* But then there’s this

North Dakota’s John Hoeven ranks No. 12

* Gov. Hoeven’s official state pic…

This guy is sexier than Rod? And he’s from North Dakota! Is there anything sexy at all about that state?

* Even Bill Richardson made the list

Yuck, man.

* Perhaps our governor would have made the list if the “judges” had been shown this pic…

* Despite all the risquée stuff in this post, let’s try our very best to keep the comments clean. Thanks much.

…Adding… I’ve asked for an official response from the Spin Sisters about the unconscionable exclusion of our governor from this list. Perhaps you could predict what they’ll say in comments. “The ‘Broken Heart’ of Rogers Park” already did.

- posted by Rich Miller


52 Comments
  1. - dan l - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:08 pm:

    Well. He’ll have another chance to go in front of a judge soon…..


  2. - Rod sez I'm pork - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:15 pm:

    Poor Eliot, he used to be number 9.


  3. - Belle - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:22 pm:

    Ahnold doesn’t pump us (or himself) up anymore….


  4. - Way South of the Border - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:23 pm:

    This is better than SlimFast. No lunch for me today. Thanks.


  5. - Rich Miller - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:27 pm:

    Considering the judges, I thought about using this pic but figured it would be way over the line. lol


  6. - wordslinger - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:30 pm:

    This report is like a January swim off Oak Street beach for the old testicular virility.


  7. - Ghost - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:32 pm:

    The Govs problems obviously stem from Boxing…

    “I am just a poor boy and my storys seldom told
    Ive squandered my resistance for a pocketful of mumbles, such are promises
    All lies and jest, still the man hears what he wants to hear
    And disregards the rest, hmmmm”


  8. - Speaking At Will - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:33 pm:

    Rich, I just fell out of my chair after looking at the pic you linked to. Classic!

    I propose this song to go along with the post.

    Set to “Lets Talk about Sex”

    Lets talk about the feds Blago,
    lets talk about you and Tony,
    Lets talk about all the good things
    and the bad things in the testimony,
    lets talk about the feds,
    lets talk about the feds.
    lets talk about the feds.
    lets talk about feds!


  9. - OneMan - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:37 pm:

    Somewhere there is a joke here about who the judges were and how the state pays it bills late, but I can’t make it work without getting in trouble….


  10. - My Opinion - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:41 pm:

    I am sorry but I always have had a thing for Bill Richardson! Weird but true. And Blago, as much as I hate admitting it, it way cuter than those listed!


  11. - fedup dem - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:47 pm:

    Poor Arnold! I guess he is a victim of all those political dinners and food-related events that a governor is supposed to go to> His response would probably be, “I ave but one vaistline to give to my state.”

    As for our Governor, perhaps he can find a sharp enough attorney to successfully argue that after being bested in this contest by the Governor of North Dakota, any criminal prosecution would constitute cruel and unusual punishment! (Hey, it’s worth a try.)


  12. - anon - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:47 pm:

    Is the caption for the Governor’s picture: Stop in the Name of Love?

    or perhaps: Talk to the hand ?


  13. - Rich Miller - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:49 pm:

    I just checked with some of my friends and they aren’t understanding why I posted that particular pic of Blagojevich.

    Hint: Big hands. Old saying.

    Look it up.


  14. - Ivory-billed Woodpecker - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:51 pm:

    Looking at Richardson, I cannot help but wonder what might have been if he had only grown that quite distinguished beard before starting the presidential run.


  15. - BIG R.PH. - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:51 pm:

    Perhaps Christie Heffner has been hanging out in the Chicago Playboy Mansion and knows more than we think?


  16. - The 'Broken Heart' of Rogers Park - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:53 pm:

    The line coming from the Governors office should go something like this.

    “We don’t pay attention to polls like this…. We’re busy doing the people’s business”


  17. - If It Walks Like a Duck... - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:55 pm:

    Big hands, big gloves. Just ask OJ.


  18. - GoBearsss - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:58 pm:

    I think this is once again a biased media injecting its personal distaste for the Governor into its reporting.

    How can you possibly not even rank someone this magnificent:


  19. - GoBearsss - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 12:59 pm:

    Sorry, I meant to embed this, but it didn’t work:

    Sexy Man!


  20. - Sprint Speed! - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 1:03 pm:

    Wow go bearsss that man can make me sweaty any day


  21. - Kevin Fanning - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 1:09 pm:

    All that I can say about this post is that it reminds me of the Hooters slogan:

    “Delightfully tacky, yet unrefined”


  22. - Hunterdon - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 1:10 pm:

    from the Spin Sisters :

    “The governor has not seen this poll, so he can’t comment on it. That doesn’t mean the governor reads ‘Playboy’, nor does it mean the governor does not read ‘Playboy’, but if he does, it is his policy not to commment on any polls contained therein, he has a very busy schedule today.”


  23. - Levois - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 1:13 pm:

    Hey why should be ranked the least sexy? His good looks helped him get elected. Incidentally the ability to bite his lip makes him ugly.


  24. - Arthur Andersen - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 1:20 pm:

    Rich, AA understood the point of your foto and offers two further observations:

    -There are exceptions to every rule.

    -In the foto, are the Palms kind of Rosey?


  25. - Anonymous - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 1:23 pm:

    He’ll probably look sexier in orange. Bet he does real well in the 2010 Mr. Yankton pageant.


  26. - God's Country - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 1:23 pm:

    They probably thought he was Mayor Daley.


  27. - Anonymous - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 1:24 pm:

    But you need a big hand to hold all of those $25,000 checks.


  28. - Mr. Cub - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 1:24 pm:

    If it were a contest to see what governor looks most like a Dr. Seuss character Blags would have topped the list.


  29. - Down South - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 1:25 pm:

    The judges thought Gov. was Mayor Daley.


  30. - Belle - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 1:28 pm:

    Rich, the shirt was right. you shoulda used it. Sorry, I never thought the guy was attractive. I prefer someone with a spine…


  31. - Amy - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 1:43 pm:

    ah, the American Idol factor. cause what a
    politician looks like bears so much relationship
    to what s/he does……


  32. - Anon - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 1:50 pm:

    Ive defended the governor on many things, but i never thought i would have to defend him here. rod is a good looking guy. he is clearly better looking than richardson or that guy with the stache. get real.


  33. - The Guild of Calamitous Intent - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 1:51 pm:

    That picture of Ahnold is disgusting! He’s like a big slaggy whale! If I were to design an unstoppable, futuristic killing machine, that is NOT how I would design it. “Terminator” indeed.


  34. - What planet is he from again? - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 1:59 pm:

    It just goes to prove that some things cost more than $25,000.


  35. - so-called "Austin Mayor" - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 2:00 pm:

    Rich,

    Rather than looking for Rod Blagojevich’s name on the list, where does “Public Official A” rank?

    – SCAM
    so-called “Austin Mayor”
    http://austinmayor.blogspot.com


  36. - Jake from Elwood - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 2:06 pm:

    I get the feeling that this issue will really bother Gov. Jet Fuel. He seems to be a rather vain man.


  37. - Slick Willy - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 2:07 pm:

    I am mno Arnold apologist, but that beach pic of the Guvernator was supposedly taken after heart surgery and before T3 was filmed. Do a google image search and you will see that he is in much better shape now than in that pic.

    Is there anything sexy about North Dakota? Definitely. No Illinois politicians live in ND.


  38. - Rich Miller - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 2:14 pm:

    Slick Willy, the idea was to have some comic relief. :)


  39. - South of I-80 - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 2:21 pm:

    Slick Willy “No Illinois politicians live in ND.”

    Could it be that there are no federal prisons in ND?


  40. - Rather B Golfing - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 2:22 pm:

    To those who think Blago is good looking: he always reminds me of a cross between Alfred E . Neuman and Howdy Doody.


  41. - DOWNSTATE - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 2:28 pm:

    Rather B go dig out your old xmas albums and take a look at the chipmunks the gov. could be a perfect stand-in for Alvin.


  42. - Slick Willy - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 2:31 pm:

    Rich - I understand. Just worried that some people would think that is how he looks now. The sad fact is that he is in better shape than most Americans half his age.

    Rather B - I am glad that you said that. I have often thought that Rod got his start with Mad Magazine.


  43. - BehindTheScenes - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 3:21 pm:

    Wow, when even testicular virility won’t get you onto a poll like this in Playboy, it’s time to start polishing the resume and looking for the next gig.

    Maybe the eyes are too beady?


  44. - Jaded - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 3:34 pm:

    It’s not the eyes, it’s the hair. Most guys try to make their cheap rugs looks like real hair. This guy makes his real hair look like a cheap rug. I don’t get it.

    What a group to lose out to. Richardson’s chin covers his tie, and Hoeven looks like Howard Sprague from the Andy Griffith show.


  45. - South Side Mike - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 3:34 pm:

    I just fear what Blago will do in response to this. Can you imagine the social program that will be announced on Monday, after the Gov have stewed on this all weekend? It will make free transit rides for seniors look like nothing!


  46. - DeepFriedOnAStick - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 3:40 pm:

    Rich,

    Please, please remove that Arnold pic.

    I just can’t take it!


  47. - Don't hurt 'em! - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 4:03 pm:

    That Blago photo pose screams: “Stop: Hammer time!”


  48. - Truth - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 4:16 pm:

    The truth is, Rod will be upset about that. I’ll bet he has already talked about it with his inner circle. I’m not joking.


  49. - A Citizen - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 4:36 pm:

    guv and sexiness is a very disturbing and disgusting concept. Eeeeyouuu!


  50. - Master of the Obvious - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 5:14 pm:

    I believe the caption says “NO, raise the other hand! Okay. Do you swear to tell the truth…Stop crossing your fingers!”


  51. - ZC - Friday, May 16, 08 @ 8:56 pm:

    I think the Playboy editors have been watching too many of their own videos. Gov. John Hoeven, from his photo above, does have some of that 70s pornstar vibe. I could see him in one of Playboy’s direct-to-home videos: “Governing the Hard Way.”


  52. - VanillaMan - Monday, May 19, 08 @ 8:54 am:

    What does “Playboy” know about sexiness?


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