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Election day caption contest!

Tuesday, Nov 2, 2010 - Posted by Rich Miller

* This man could very well be our next governor…

       

113 Comments
  1. - The Captain - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 6:32 am:

    “We’re also out of coffee”


  2. - A.B. - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 6:38 am:

    You’re fired!


  3. - wordslinger - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 6:55 am:

    “Looks like we won. Now, I’m going to tell you what I REALLY plan to do…”


  4. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 6:58 am:

    “I am the Champion, my Friends … and I’ll keep on fighting, till the end!”


  5. - Murfe82 - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 6:59 am:

    Read my lips –NO, NEW, TAXES!


  6. - Foster Brooks - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:05 am:

    Better hope your not dependant on state services, the rich get taken care of first.


  7. - unspun - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:06 am:

    Look, now I’m a double-barreled finger pointer!


  8. - anon - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:06 am:

    Last one out, be sure to turn off the lights.


  9. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:09 am:

    “Don’t cry for me, G.O.P.!”

    “For the last time, gassing the dogs IS humane!”

    “I did NOT choose Jason Plummer!!!”

    “We’re going inside of ‘em, we’re going outside of ‘em — inside of ‘em! outside of ‘em! — and when we get them on the run once, we’re going to keep ‘em on the run. And we’re not going to pass unless their secondary comes up too close. But don’t forget, men — we’re gonna get ‘em on the run, we’re gonna go, go, go, go! — and we aren’t going to stop until we go over that goal line! And don’t forget, men — today is the day we’re gonna win. They can’t lick us — and that’s how it goes… The first platoon men — go in there and fight, fight, fight, fight, fight! What do you say, men!”

    “Yatzee!”

    “These two fingers are loaded and registered weapons!”

    “All right, all right, whose the dirty rat that killed my brotha!”

    “Where’s your Moses NOOOWWWWW!”

    “You’ll see, the Great Pumpkin swoops down and gives candy to all the good boys and girls … you’ll see!”

    “Leave your ballot, take a sticker and a cannoli!”


  10. - Wensicia - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:11 am:

    Fire up the gas chambers, I’m going to win by this much!


  11. - Bob - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:32 am:

    The State is Illinois is now another one BILLION in the RED. This was caused by former Gov Quinn’s construction projects announcements this last few weeks.


  12. - 32nd Ward Roscoe Village - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:39 am:

    “See, I had all my teeth removed so that I could insert both feet more easily.”


  13. - Quinn T. Sential - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:42 am:

    Blago appointees; the door is over there. Do not let it hit you in the ass on your way out.


  14. - waitress practicing politics... - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:43 am:

    “Let me make this perfectly clear…I am not a crook.”


  15. - No i am not drunk - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:45 am:

    What do you mean we are out of chips?!?!?!?!


  16. - waitress practicing politics... - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:45 am:

    or to Quote from Beavis and Butthead the movie–
    Are you threatening me?


  17. - Anon - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:48 am:

    It’s this long. My attention span is…wait…what was I talking
    About again?


  18. - Aldyth - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:50 am:

    When I get concealed carry passed in Illinois, I’m gonna wear a holster and carry two, count ‘em, two guns.


  19. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:51 am:

    “Want me to do it again … ok … wait … ok, this is Jason Plummer freezing up on Chicago Tonight …. (pause) … there ya go!”


  20. - anon sequitor - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:00 am:

    Mike Madigan sneaks up behind Brady and whispers “Boo! I’m still Speaker.”


  21. - Going too Far? - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:00 am:

    Born of humble beginnings, Madame encountered puppeteer Wayland Flowers on a bus ride in New York in the mid-sixties. Immediately smitten with Madame’s beauty and bawdy sense of humor, Flowers recognized her untapped talent and presented the idea of the two of them working together as a comedy team. http://www.madameandme.com/tour/Madame_QVegas_R3.pdf


  22. - Bill - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:08 am:

    It was fixed I tell ya..They told me Quinn couldn’t win..


  23. - Rod sez I'm pork - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:12 am:

    Run Toto Run


  24. - dznuts - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:20 am:

    The squirrel had a tail that long. Ask Pat. If I’m lyin’ I’m dyin’.


  25. - cuban pilot - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:27 am:

    GBB: “See, I don’t really shoot straight from the hips like the media claims…..instead, I really shoot straight from the pit. For that matter, I am not really a straight shooter, rather I shoot at a 45 degree angle in hopes that I can humanely kill kitties who are stuck up in trees.”


  26. - Matt - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:28 am:

    Seriously, it’s about this big.


  27. - Vole - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:31 am:

    “Try to prove that I said I would balance the budget in one year!”


  28. - polisciguy - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:32 am:

    “Who let the dogs out?”


  29. - cuban pilot - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:35 am:

    Governor-elect BB on explaining his secret plan to fix the state’s budget crises:

    GEBB: “It is all pretty simple really, now that I am governor, I have magical powers where I can use these fingers to perform powerful magic tricks like that Harry Potter kid. So, with these fingers, I will cast the spell to magically fix the books. So, here goes,

    abracabra, cheech and chong, let me live in bloomington….(poof)……..

    uh-oh, I think I used the spell that instantly kills all puppies…Oh well, I guess i have some work to do before I am sworn in on election day.”


  30. - Vote Quimby! - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:37 am:

    My first act as governor is to fire the three Blago appointees who have not found cover in a union.


  31. - washedmyhands - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:37 am:

    “Let me describe the legendary Brady family business motto - you can tell when we are not telling the truth - because that is when our lips are moving. Oh, and another thing, my running-mates taxes will be made available afterall at 6:59 p.m. November 2, 2010.”


  32. - CircularFiringSquad - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:41 am:

    Please wash your fingers before returning to work or lighting that cigar


  33. - NWAvouyer - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:42 am:

    ” I told you I’d do it! Grrrrrr” - Clubber Lang


  34. - OneMan - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:45 am:

    On second thought let Jason figure it out.


  35. - Loop Lady - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:46 am:

    “Lemme tell ya, I smelled a rat, and then out of the corner of my eye, saw something with a tail at least this long”…”I am really suspicious about those absentee ballot votes out of Cook County”…


  36. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:46 am:

    “Alright, listen up, people. Our fugitive has been on the run for 3 years. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gives us a radius of six miles around his house every morning. What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive’s name is Rod R. Blagojevich. Go get him.


  37. - ah HA - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:46 am:

    Muahahahahaaaaaa,

    ILLINOIS Tremble!!!


  38. - neveroddoreven - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:47 am:

    I demand a recount!


  39. - Jake from Elwood - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:55 am:

    Separated at Birth: Bill Brady and Charlie McCarthy. Brady is missing the tux and monocle. Who is pulling Brady’s strings?


  40. - Way South of the Border - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:56 am:

    Blue microphone to the other microphones: You’re crazy. No way am I getting any closer to those pincers of death.


  41. - JBilla - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:58 am:

    Loud Noises!


  42. - MrJM - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:01 am:

    And thus began Lisa Madigan’s inevitable march to the governor’s mansion in 2014.

    – MrJM


  43. - Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:01 am:

    “I love Lamp”


  44. - Ron Burgundy - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:02 am:

    FIRE BAD!


  45. - Thoughts... - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:05 am:

    “I know! I can’t believe I won either!”


  46. - Highland, IL - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:05 am:

    Here’s my Jason Plummer impression, “UMMMMMMMMM!”


  47. - JCIII - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:11 am:

    This ladies and gentleman is not acceptable…….where are those puppies at?


  48. - The Spin Stops Where? - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:15 am:

    “My Howard Dean Impression? Ok here goes….YEEEHAAW”


  49. - Bring Back Boone's - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:16 am:

    BOOOOYYYAHH!


  50. - Five Head - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:16 am:

    if


  51. - Five Head - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:18 am:

    If Sarah can do it I thought why not give it a try.


  52. - zatoichi - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:19 am:

    Told Ya! Told Ya! Told Ya!


  53. - Bluefish - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:21 am:

    Three points for getting the paper football through the goalposts. Two extra points for getting it in his mouth.


  54. - Really?? - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:23 am:

    I feel now is the time to tell you all, I have no idea what I’m doing.


  55. - Madame Defarge - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:24 am:

    Governor Brady singss “Five Dollar Foot longs” to raise money for Illinois budget.


  56. - just sayin' - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:28 am:

    You haven’t seen crazy yet!!


  57. - Norseman - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:29 am:

    I blasted Quinn in the debate with my trusty 6-shooter.


  58. - WRMNpolitics - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:30 am:

    I formally announce my campaign 2014 campaign for Governor of Illinois. I pledge to cut 10.125% of state spending, across the board after a full forensic audit! What? I won? Never mind!


  59. - just sayin' - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:30 am:

    Winner so far:

    Ron Burgundy - FIRE BAD!

    Excellent SNL reference. Well done.


  60. - babs - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:32 am:

    Kirk come back! I need the answers. You can’t leave me like this.


  61. - Cincinnatus - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:34 am:

    “Who’s your daddy, Pat?”


  62. - babs - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:36 am:

    Kirk Dillard not Mark Kirk - hate it when I have to go back and explain!


  63. - Deep South - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:36 am:

    …and a one, and a two and a three…oh, wait, I did say ten percent, didn’t I?


  64. - ShadyBillBrady - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:49 am:

    We’re going to win Chicago. And Carbondale. And then we’re going to win Bolingbrook and Bloomington. Then on to taking Indiana, Missouri and Tennessee. Yeawwwww!


  65. - Levois - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:55 am:

    “Read my lips –NO, NEW, TAXES!”

    You beat me to it. :(


  66. - Way Way Down Here - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:56 am:

    All right, you win. You win. I give. I’ll say it. I’ll say it. I’ll say it. DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME! DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME!


  67. - Joe from Joliet - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:57 am:

    Healthcare, schmealthcare. What people really want is dental care and I promise free dentures for all Illinoisans, just like mine.


  68. - not applicable - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:58 am:

    “Bang! Bang!”


  69. - Truth - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:59 am:

    GOVERNOR


  70. - ANON - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:10 am:

    “From this point on, I promise to run a positive only campaign. Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya…”


  71. - dc - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:16 am:

    Wook, I puwwed out my fawse teef. I don’t need to hiwe Paww Wis. Take Dat Wich Miwwewr.

    (Puts teeth back in) What do you mean I don’t get the point? I keep hearing that along with some bs about me sitting on a back bench in the Senate. That is not true. I always sat in a chair and sat up straight!


  72. - DuPage Dave - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:17 am:

    Springfield, May 15 2012: Bill Brady (pictured) became the first Illinois governor recalled by voters under a new provision in the state constitution which he ironically supported while in the state Senate.


  73. - Highland, IL - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:18 am:

    Bill Brady freezes when told Michael Madigan actually runs the state.


  74. - Rahm's Parking Meter - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:20 am:

    Screaming from the top of his lungs, Brady says: VOTE FOR ME OR THE PUPPY GETS IT!!!


  75. - Heartless Libertarian - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:21 am:

    “KHAAAAAN!!!!!!”


  76. - Statewide - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:23 am:

    “I dare you, I double-dare you, to prove I ever said, I will balance the state budget without ever raising taxes!”


  77. - soccermom - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:24 am:

    Bluefish wins.


  78. - Louis XVI - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:24 am:

    “When I opened the book in my library, I saw that it was this wide.”


  79. - Newsclown - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:44 am:

    “Now I can tell you folks how much I LOVE lady Gaga! I will now sing…”


  80. - (618) Democrat - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:44 am:

    If you get an abortion FOR ANY REASON IN MY STATE, you can run but you cannot hide!


  81. - Anonymous - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:45 am:

    Without any new taxes I can still make the deficit only “this big”.


  82. - Monstrum - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:52 am:

    I commit to you that I will now start to try to find some people who can be an advisory committee so that I can begin to consider to think about what can possibly be done about various options about this fiscal budget situation thing that I’ve been hearing so much about so that we can perhaps get an auditor and begin making some sense of the finances and look for ways to improve things. Hopefully.


  83. - Returning Dog - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:53 am:

    ‘Not only will I fire all of the Blago-era clout hires, I will ceremoniously prod each of them out the door with a brisk kancho!’


  84. - VanillaMan - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:57 am:

    What do you mean the state capitol isn’t Frankfort?


  85. - just sayin' - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:57 am:

    I just have one thing to say about this Bloomington ballroom tonight, the rent is too damn high!


  86. - VanillaMan - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:58 am:

    I will require all married males to grow a beard and all married women to wear their bonnet straps behind their ears.

    No school after age 12.

    Church services are required and will be in Old German.


  87. - Assume the Crash Position - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:58 am:

    “I once had a thought THIS big!”


  88. - Muskrat - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:59 am:

    The Governor-elect loses the Lewis Black impression contest when he refuses to do the whole-body spasm, for fear of mussing his perfectly-knotted tie.


  89. - Who Cares - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 11:28 am:

    my favorite line from one of my favorite movies….So now what do we do?


  90. - dassah1 - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 11:32 am:

    and pets don’t evolve either!!!


  91. - How Ironic - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 11:36 am:

    As Governor I swear that if the puppies renounce their homosexual lifestyle, they will be spared. At least 10% of them.


  92. - Park - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 11:56 am:

    And I promise now that I will live in the Governor’s Mansion in Bloomington.


  93. - one day at a time - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 11:58 am:

    The pistachios will be this big when I do that…Collasal!


  94. - 47th Ward - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 12:31 pm:

    “Excuse me if this off the subject a little bit, but just take a guess at how much I can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess. 315 pounds, at the top of my game, maxing out at 500!”


  95. - Cool Hand Luke - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 1:06 pm:

    Pat Quinn and the Chicago Machine came “this close” to almost beating me.”


  96. - Mercutio_27 - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 1:22 pm:

    If nobody comes down here and buys a car in the next hour, I’m gonna club this baby seal. That’s right! I’m gonna club this seal to make a better deal. You know I’ll do it, too, cause I’m crazy.


  97. - Macoupin Observer - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 1:22 pm:

    Alouetta jon te alouetta….. (spelling?)


  98. - Really?? - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 1:26 pm:

    You know that Robert Redford movie The Candidate? “Now what??”


  99. - Rayne of Terror - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 1:27 pm:

    I can’t believe they brought Krispy Kremes to my headquarters, Denny’s Donuts ONLY.


  100. - MrJM - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 1:47 pm:

    “Ok, now who’s got the plan for a tax-free budget?”

    – MrJM


  101. - x ace - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 2:06 pm:

    Unpaid Bills - Unpaid Taxes - That and Tea Undid Me


  102. - fed up - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 2:19 pm:

    And then Quinn threw me the keys to the gov Mansion and said its a fixer upper just like the restvof the state.


  103. - jim - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 2:36 pm:

    I am amazed by how juvenile this post is.
    Why encourage even more foolishness than Illinois already has?


  104. - Mercutio_27 - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 2:39 pm:

    Illinois Gubernatorial candidate Bill Brady pauses mid-speech while talking to area reporters after noticing a shiny object located across the room.


  105. - VoteNovember2 - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 2:40 pm:

    Herb Getz promised me I’d be govenor. Obviously, he didn’t contribute enough.


  106. - Hooters - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 2:48 pm:

    Bend over bureaucrats and social service providers, I have something this big for you in January.


  107. - (618) Democrat - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:53 pm:

    @ Mercutio_27 14:39

    You have my vote for best caption. Still laughing here!


  108. - Really?? - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:55 pm:

    @jim - lighten up. It’s just for fun and really no different than other caption contests that have happened in the past.


  109. - Full time gamer - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:01 pm:

    Guns up! Let’s do this! Leeeeerrrrrooooyyyy Jenkins!


  110. - Leatherneck318 - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:03 pm:

    ” All right, Quinn.. you called down the thunder, well now you’ve got it! The Dem’s are finished, you understand? So run, you cur… RUN! Tell all the other curs the law’s comin’! You tell ‘em I’M coming… and hell’s coming with me, you hear?…
    Hell’s coming with me!”


  111. - Leatherneck318 - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:06 pm:

    @ Rayne of Terror… - it’s Spudo’s from Galesburg, for the donuts…


  112. - LincolnLounger - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:42 pm:

    Steve walks warily down the street,
    With the brim pulled way down low ….


  113. - Way Way Down Here - Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 6:23 pm:

    I’m with 618, that was funny Mercutio. But lord help us.


Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.


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